Dragging Ass...

I know mom, I'm sorry, but just hear this story out...and Heather, this story is for YOU!

So, tonight after dinner, Jeremiah and I decided to take Hank for a walk. He's been a very good puppy this week and taken good care of Jeremiah while I was at work. So, we went on our walk up and around through the apartments by our house. Typically on this route, Hank will poop. We all do it, don't pretend that this story is gross.

So, tonight we walk over by the apartments, and of course, the street lights were out (thanks dad...) so we couldn't see Hank "in action" well, except we could tell that he was a little runnier than usual, and this was a MAJOR poop. AND then, after he poops, he often likes to leave a little P.S. drip at the end. So, he poops, then walks, then goes to drip on the sidewalk (a new hobby of his) and I holler for him to go poop on the grass. But, all he does is sit. It was weird. Jeremiah picks up the poop, and we start to walk again. Hank goes about 2 feet and starts to squat and sit. And then he keeps trying to sit, he does NOT want to walk. At first we ran up the street, thinking maybe we just weren't going fast enough, and that worked for a moment. But, we finally get a street light on so we can see what's happening with his butt.

That's right folks, Hank had his first dingle-berry. Jeremiah was so proud, clearly this is a like father-like son experience for him. Not the first time, and definitely not the last. But poor Hank could NOT shake what was left. So we grabbed another bag and I did the wiping duty. I got most of it, and he was a happy puppy for the rest of the walk home. He even got aroused by the pug we ran into on the way home. So, we get home and I run upstairs and get the wipes, and realize that there was a little tuft of hair stuck, so I pulled it out, and wiped up the rest of his butt. If anyone is curious about my need for children, this helped remind me of why dog's are so much better than kids.

Hank's now passed out on the floor next to Jeremiah. And also, passing gas.

OKAY! This was such a weird walk! And that's just the first part. So, the street lights weren't on, and we couldn't see WELL, but could see that a guy was walking towards us with his pet on a leash. The wife was across the street and hollered to this guy that he should cross. This is at the point where Jeremiah is trying to figure out how to open up the poop bag and so we're hanging tight. I said it was OK that Hank's friendly. And THEN! The guy goes "yeah but with cats?" That's right ladies and gentlemen...this guy was walking his CAT on a leash.

I know you all know that cat's are pretty useless animals in my book. But, some people think otherwise, and well, we have to allow them in this country. But seriously, walking your cat? These people are crazy. Then they cross the street, Jeremiah figures out how to open a bag, and as he's picking up the HUGE pile of poop, I hear the guy talking to his cat about what side it wants to walk on, and what he's doing. I'm just waiting for the guy to finally walk around the corner so I can make some serious fun of him! All of this is before my dog starts literally dragging his ass on the sidewalk granted.

What a night! Poor Hank is so traumatized he is passed out on the floor trying to recover from the pain and humiliation of the night, and I think he's also embarrassed on behalf of the cat, since really, we all were.